I am restless by nature – I have to keep moving forward. To stop learning and progressing is (for me) something unthinkable – a sort of death.
To this point, after too many days of doing the same thing over and over again, a question begins to take hold of me:
It hovers in the background of my every thought and manifests itself in every action; first subtly and then insistently – incessantly – its presence becomes so heavy that I am compelled to answer.
____ is what’s next. Do this so you can do that. The next step lies here.
In many ways the need to answer this question has been my life’s guide; if I go without an answer for too long the question grows so untenably loud and urgent that it cannot be ignored: This is how I typically know when it’s time to do something else.
…And yet my need to answer this ultimate question is counter-weighted by the knowledge that few things in life are certain, and that good things often take time. Ergo, sometimes – when the future is cloudy and the length of the road ahead unclear – I discover that to find a sense of self-clarity and purpose (i.e. my center) I must focus not on what I need to become next, but instead on who and what I fundamentally already am.
I guess what I’m trying to say here is that it is good to be restless – one should always be focused on what’s next; and yet sometimes we can grow in incredible ways simply by standing still and taking stock of ourselves.
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